Living the Questions: Do I Belong?
Matthew 3:13 - 4:11 The Baptism and Temptations of Jesus

"Who am I? Where am I going? Why am I here?" Whether on a conscious or an unconscious level we are, I believe, asking these questions at every age and stage of our lives. I know that for me the thrust of the questions has changed but they are there just the same. Who am I in a 73-year-old body, a great grandmother when I still feel young inside? Why am I here when my life is so different from what it was a few years ago? The issue is call and identity. Do I belong? Where? And to whom? To do what?

Matthew is the gospel we will be reading this year, allowing it to stimulate our thinking and our imaginations. This gospel, while very dependent on the earlier writer Mark and using the same "Q" source that Luke used, is organized in a different way. There are five discourses each concluding with the words "when Jesus finished teaching". So we have "a fusion of gospel and ethics, of faith and morality" according to Douglas Hare's commentary. Our study will begin with the introduction of Jesus, his baptism and his call.

Read

I suggest you read these stories in several translations. Watch for the nuances. What gets your attention? Jesus' baptism as recorded in all four gospels includes the descending dove and the voice saying, "You are my Beloved." What do you think Jesus told his followers about his baptism? He went alone to the wilderness so he must have told his followers what happened there. Could he have described these events in a better way? Can you think of a time when you felt like God's beloved? Does this sense of belonging stay with you? What helps you maintain your sense of identity and call?

Reflect

Why do we stray from this knowledge so often? The second part of our study gives me a clue. Reread the story of the temptations in each gospel for more insight. Think about the implications of each one for Jesus' ministry. Do a miracle! Be spectacular! Be rich! Do you think this was a one-time experience? (Luke says the devil left him for a time.)

Connect

We are all tempted to define ourselves by what we have, by what we do and what other people say about us. The world encourages this because it feeds our consumer driven society. ("Our affluenza", Degraaf titles his PBS documentary.) A car, a degree, fame are all held up as things to give us that sense of belonging. Richard Rohr summarizes the temptations as power, prestige and possessions. We know, or do we, that our worth does not depend on these things. Which one pulls you the most? How does it effect your sense of belonging?

Think of a time in your youth -- a time when identity issues are heightened. I remember thinking that if I was chosen by a certain club I would really belong or if I had a certain sweater I would feel right. As an adult I know better but these temptations in a more subtle form are with me still.

The temptation of Jesus is always the gospel for the first Sunday in Lent and the forty days of Lent are our time in the wilderness to live some of the questions posed at the beginning of this study. Who am I? Where am I going? Why am I here'? Whose am I? Do I belong? Keep asking the questions, for as we do we discover more and more about the grace of God!

Integrate

Frederick Buechner writes:

A crucial eccentricity of the Christian faith is the assertion that people are saved by grace. There is nothing you have to do. There's nothing you have to do. There's nothing you have to do. The grace of God means something like: You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It's for you I created the universe. I love you. (From Wishful Thinking by Frederick Buechner.)

Suggested Reading:

• Wishful Thinking by Frederick Buechner, Harper, 1993.
• Interpretation, A Bible Commentary: Matthew by Douglas R. Hare, John Knox Press, 1993.
• Simplicity, The art of living by Richard Rohr, Crossroad 2000.
• Living A Life That Matters by Harold S. Kushner. Alfred A Knopp, 2000.
• Bible Basics for the next generation, by Nancy Boyle, 1999 - a collection of Nancy Boyle's relational bible studies (1995-1999).

Nancy Boyle is a workshop leader, teacher and Christian Education Consultant living in Columbia SC.